This week’s installment in my ongoing series of re-posting my Twitter content. This volume’s subjects are random as always. As per usual, if you subscribe to my Twitter feed, then none of this will be new to you.

» Article: Highway barricade reminisces about the time it met Ryan Dunn.

» The best Twitter feeds are the ones that alternate between complaining about diets and stating how many whole pizzas were eaten for dinner.

» Desperation smells an awful lot like Axe Body Spray.

» If it’s wrong to have dreams where you knock out Steven Seagall with a front kick, then I don’t want to be right.

» They say smoking diminishes the sense of smell. So, how do you pink lungs survive the bus?

» So, people need warnings that stories about sexual abuse might be graphic and traumatizing. Top of the food chain, my ass — we’re morons.

I guess I should not be shocked, though. I mean, a show called 1,000 Ways to Die also has a disclaimer “don’t try this at home”.

» Poultry farming is a great way to pick up chicks.

» Bring more dirt, I’ve got a lot of work to do on this molehill.

» By mid-2013, “the benefit of the doubt” will be not punching you in the mouth pre-emptively before I hear about your Kickstarter project.

» People ask why I insist on having a floppy drive on all my PCs. Reason: leave a disk in the drive and no one under 30 can use your machine.

» Instead of tweeting three times a day about what I eat, I’m going to tweet once when I shit. I don’t feel tweet quality will suffer.

» When obituaries state that someone is “survived by his wife and two children”, I assume they were a terrible, terrible person.

» I like obituaries that frame dying as “losing a battle to cancer”, like maybe some push-ups and more road work was the fucking answer…

During the post-fight press event, the malignant tumor had only this to say: “I’ll fight whoever they put in front of me.”

» I asked our HR person what the guidelines for facial tattoos were, but I haven’t heard back.

» When someone makes a point of saying “full stop”, I wonder if they also announce commas, and semi-colons verbally as well.